Sheep Mountain 50 Mile (Race Recap)

Fairplay, CO

Saturday, July 11

Ultra Marathon #14

Weather - Chilly at start, perfect

 

So the journey began immediately after I got off work on Friday. Since I have apparently lost the ability to read things when I signed up, I had missed that there was a mandatory meeting the night before, at 7:00 pm. So I had initially thought I would maybe just drive up in the morning for the race, but now I was scrambling to find somewhere to stay for the night since it's a two hour drive.

 

Elizabeth suggested I try Airbnb for an inexpensive place since I literally just needed a bed. I reserved a place that was only about 5 minutes from the start line, so it worked out nicely.

 

Anyway, traffic was wretched and it took over two hours to get there and I arrived late at the meeting. I picked up my packet, ate some pasta, and then headed to my Airbnb. I was in bed by 8:45, but I did not sleep well.

 

Race Day

 

Up VERY early. I was up before 5, long enough to get dressed and head to the start area. I had forgotten my wall charger for my phone so I wanted to sit in my car for a bit to get it as close to fully charged as possible. It was in the upper 30's, and I was wearing a long sleeve YMX top (like I did in Utah) under my Runner's Roost singlet and then had my long sleeve 1/4 zip on over that. I knew I would get warm quick, but considering that if everything went well I would be out in the dark I figured it was best if I had the long sleeve just in case.

 

Headed over to the start line at about 5:30. Checked in and then cycled through the bathroom line about 3 times. My stomach felt off. I talked to a few teammates and then at 6 we were off...

Race director is a sadist... check out the hill right at the start!

Since I was obviously undertrained not trained at all for this nonsense the plan was to just keep moving. I mean, it was "only" 50 miles.

 

Walked up the hill and then we were on dirt roads until the first aid station. It was a gradual uphill and I settled into where I would be the entire race - the very very back. I was tired, my stomach was angry and this felt exceptionally hard. There were a few downhill sections and for a while there were actually two people behind me. I had to stop around mile 6 off the side of the trail to "do my business" but then I felt a tad better.

 

 

At the first aid station I took a shot of whiskey. Which is crazy because the very thought of whiskey gives me instant gag reflex.

 

There was about another mile on the road, and then we crossed and finally were headed onto the trail. I was excited for this part!

 

 

 

 

This section was pretty runnable. I ran into Sherpa John (the race director) in this section and he asked me if I was having fun. I said yes!! He warned me the "rock garden" was ahead... what does that mean?

 



 

Oh. Rocks. Forever. So this part was NOT my favorite. This is also when the climbing started. There were sections that were REALLY pretty. That did not change the fact that I was quickly dying. The climb and the altitude were getting to me and I was taking frequent breaks. I got passed by the only two people behind me on the first climb.

 

Once I actually got to the barren top of Sheep Mountain I was really having a hard time. I would guess that I was by now about a quarter mile behind the people who had passed me only a half mile or so earlier. I took a quick selfie...

And then trudged on. Through more rocks. It seemed like it was NEVER going to end. Climb and false summit, and then climb again. I was checking my watch and it seemed like we had gained close to 3000 feet, most of that being after the first aid station.



 

Then FINALLY it seemed I had made it to the high point. There was some downhill but it was a bit technical and I certainly wasn't blazing down the hill. Got to the next aid station. Took another shot of whiskey. This time it was cinnamon flavored so it wasn't as terrible.



This section of the course was really pretty. And where the first of the water crossings were.



Thankfully, the course was very well marked as we were running through a field. The picture below shows a fairly well-defined trail, but not all sections were so clear. There were a TON of wildflowers, and I'm bummed that they don't really show up well in my photos.

 

 

 

Around mile 20 I ran into a guy who said he had gotten lost. I stupidly didn't look around and took his word for where NOT to go and ended up going about a half mile out of my way. The distance wasn't the worst part, it was the time trying to get enough phone service to get on the internet to look at the race manual. Womp. By this point I was already thinking it was going to be very tough to hit the time limit. We stuck together only for about 15 minutes. He hung back and I headed into where the next aid station should be and I never saw him again.



 

I was pretty tired and hungry when I got to this aid station, but there wasn't a great selection of food. I was pretty happy to hear that the next section was only about 4 miles and it was all downhill on paved road. I actually did pretty decent on this section and I thought I was doing well and making up some time. Thanks to 1). the course measuring long and 2). me getting off course a bit, my watch measured close to 27 miles by the time I got to the next aid station. Somehow I had it in my head that the course only had 7,000 feet of climbing, and by now I had done about 4500. So I was thinking... if this measures close to 52 miles (which is what the manual said the true distance was), I thought I *might* be able to get it done under the time limit if I had already done 2/3 of the climbing.



I grabbed an ice cream bar from the aid station, but my stomach did NOT like that so I ended up barely having any.

 

And by the way, I was completely WRONG about the climbing. The next section was called Breakneck Pass. PASS. So just by the name alone I should have realized that there was a lot of climbing. This section was even worst for me than the climb up Sheep Mountain. I had not seen anyone in hours on the course and I knew I was completely alone and that I was probably dead last. At the aid station they told me it was about 6 miles to the aid station, which the manual had at 32.75 miles.

 

I took about a thousand breaks (but no pictures) on this climbing section. At the pace I was moving and when I realized the course had 9,000 feet of climbing and that after I was done with THIS section that I would still have 3,000 (give or take) left to climb, I knew I was dropping. There was no way that I was going to be able to move fast enough.

 

I saw a volunteer on the side when my watch was about 33 miles and I almost lost my mind when he said it was still a mile to the aid station. AND THEN I found out that I "could" drop but the aid station was ATV access only so it would be a while, OR I could walk (downhill) to the next aid station 3+ miles away.

 

He said there would be beer (!!!) at the aid station and I could decide then. He told me I was, in fact, the last runner (others had already dropped), and he and another volunteer were walking with me and taking down the course markings.

 

Finally got to the aid station (34.3 on my watch) - and I did, indeed, get the promised beer. (And a damn good beer too!)

 

Minutes after arriving the wind picked up and it started pouring rain and hailing. So I clearly stopped at a good time. I was starting to get cold after I stopped moving and these amazing volunteers got me food and a poncho to stay warm. By the time the storm stopped, the ATV's had not yet left. I decided to walk down with another volunteer. Once I got to the next aid station, I was driven to the start/finish area and arrived sometime close to 7:30. HOURS after I had stopped.

I got a veggie burger and a beer and found out I had also won a $50 gift certificate to Runner's Roost! So, all was not lost.

I stayed around for a bit to eat and chat, and then started the drive back, not getting home until close to 10:00 pm.

Garmin Time - 10:57:13
Garmin Distance - 34.35 miles
Miles 1-5 - 13:24, 13:55, 12:47, 12:49, 14:54
Miles 6-10 - 17:00, 14:45, 16:57, 19:14, 26:02
Miles 11-15 - 34:45, 28:32, 18:06, 19:15, 15:38
Miles 16-20 - 17:07, 18:39, 15:00, 16:53, 18:13
Miles 21-25 - 21:54, 18:32, 17:32, 20:32, 15:02
Miles 26-30 - 13:26, 14:26, 19:51, 21:31, 34:42
Miles 31-34.35 - 24:07, 20:11, 22:45, 20:43, 23:22

Thoughts

• Holy moly, this was way harder than I expected. I was thinking, it's "only" 50 miles, and maybe that was part of my mistake. Clearly I need to work on hills as a 30+ minute mile is not great or competitive.
• The aid stations were pretty good, but at the later ones a bit more substantial "food" would have been nice. I normally don't have issues with sugar and candy, but I really wanted something... else I guess.
• The whiskey was a nice touch. But gross. I did appreciate the beer at the aid station I dropped at though!
• The race director advertises as a 50 mile, but then in the manual it says 52 miles. People that finished had it closer to 55 miles. That's a big difference. I don't think it would have affected how I approached the race, but still.
• An unbelievably beautiful course. And very well marked. Just too challenging for me in my current state.

Week(s) in Review (June 9 - June 22)

Tuesday, June 9 (19,412 steps) - I really cannot remember this far back and looking at Strava doesn't do much to refresh my memory. I wrote that I did a mile and a half, but I have no idea if that was on the treadmill at home or at the gym. I think I vaguely recall doing it at home.

Wednesday, June 10 (18,450 steps) - A finally FINALLY got her (second) cast off. However... she is now in a brace, at least through the end of July, which means one more doctor's visit and another set of x-rays. Run club!! Traffic was a wretched horrible mess so it took forever to get there. We ended up missing starting the run with the group but walked about a mile with Heather, who injured her collarbone and can't run anyway. I ran a mile loop when I got home.

 

Thursday, June 11 (16,562 steps) - Again, it says I ran about a mile on the treadmill. No recollection. Things kicked into high gear with the packing - fast tracking the sale of the house to two weeks earlier than planned - sign (hopefully) going in the yard on Tuesday, June 23.

Friday, June 12 (8,396 steps) - No exercise. More packing. Dinner and hanging out with Jessa.

Saturday, June 13 (13,659 steps) - Jessa was so kind as to spend most of the day with me and A packing and cleaning. Turns out there was a bit of water damage from when the basement flooded in the spare room so we had to rip out the carpet and padding. Bought fans to dry the flooring. Smells a bit musty but caught it all before there was any lasting damage. The most progress was in A's room. Wish she always kept it this clean and uncluttered!

Sunday, June 14 (17,592 steps) - Skirt Sports 5k with A and then driving to Moab.

Monday, June 15 (51,044 steps) - Desert RATS Stage 1.

Tuesday, June 16 (77,537 steps) - Desert RATS Stage 2.

Wednesday, June 17 (32,030 steps) - Desert RATS Stage 3.

Thursday, June 18 (99,377 steps) - Desert RATS Stage 4.

Friday, June 19 (15,236 steps) - Sleeping. Drinking beer. Tending to blisters.

Saturday, June 20 (63,235 steps) - Desert RATS Stage 5.

Sunday, June 21 (12,825 steps) - Long, long, LONG drive back to Denver. Lots of cleaning and continued packing.

Monday, June 22 (13,928 steps) - Back to work. More cleaning, more packing. House 85-90% packed. My realtor offered to have cleaners come in so that I didn't have to make time for that as well, thankfully. We weren't able to get the carpet shampooed (and honestly, anyone who purchases this home will want to replace all the carpet anyway), but the place looked good enough for interior pictures for the online listing.

 

Week Ending 6/15

• 145,115 steps
• 28 miles run
• No cross training
• No strength/stretching

Week Ending 6/22

• 314,168 steps
• 113.75 miles run
• No cross training (although, let's be real, I did a LOT of hiking/walking)
• No strength/stretching (I had two 30 minute massages though!)

Everything Else

• As of the last date in this blog the house was mostly in selling condition, just waiting for some cleaners to come in and do things that I did not have time for. That's the big thing going on in my life right now!

Desert RATS Random Tidbits

Had some questions regarding some of the more "logistical" aspects of the race.

Transportation

After getting myself to Moab, all transportation was included in my entry. The race is a point to point from Loma-ish, Colorado to just outside of Moab, Utah. All our gear was hauled in a U-Haul trailer and the runners were transported in big vans.

Lodging

We were told we could bring our own tent if we wanted to. I chose not to because I hate putting up/taking down a tent and I didn't want to have to do that every night. We were provided with big tents - I shared a tent with four other women. There were volunteers that put up the tent and took it down for us - which was fantastic.

Food

Gemini Adventures uses the services of John Graham for food. This man is fantastic. He has many years experience in "back country cooking" and we had plenty of food every single day. He was happy to take special dietary requests, including vegetarian and gluten free options. I enjoyed food ranging from pasta to grilled cheese to burgers. There was always more food than could even be consumed, no one went hungry. All meals were provided, and on the long days we were able to make sandwiches to pick up at an aid station for lunch.

Charging

There was a charging station available every day at base camp where we could charge our phone and Garmins. I believe this was powered through one of the trucks, but I'm not positive. I do also have a small battery powered charger that I brought with me and used only one time to charge my watch. The charging station was VERY cool and very appreciated!

Clothing

So as you could probably see from my pictures, I had my arms covered every day. All of my long sleeve apparel is YMX by Yellowman. I first discovered this brand about 3.5 years ago when I was training for my first 100. The fabric is so silky and thin it is almost like wearing nothing at all. I have worn these tops for years as a base layer to keep warm, but had never considered wearing them to "keep cool." This fabric was pretty much designed for running in all climates, per the website "as perfect as base layer on the winter slopes as it is for sun protection on a high desert run. With a UPF of 30+, it also serves as a lightweight rash guard that feels like a second skin, light as silk, but totally fuss-free." I did notice that I "felt" hot when I first started each day but within a few miles I didn't feel "as hot" or "any hotter" than if I had bare arms. Not to mention, no sunburns on my arms or shoulders, which I am VERY prone to as I'm very fair-skinned.

In addition to the long sleeve tops, I was using a buff - in the early miles just to protect my neck from the sun, but as the day wore on I would tie off each end and fill with ice - that was HUGE in keeping me "cool."

I normally wear the compression socks for all races, but with the blisters I had I wanted easier access to my feet so I wore the lower socks, and it was fine. Considering this was a lot more hiking than running, my legs felt abnormally "good" after everything was done.

Nutrition/Hydration

There was plenty of "snacks" at the aid stations, although I found that my appetite was greatly diminished with the heat. For pretty much the first time ever, I had to force myself to eat. I fueled with a handful of gels, but primarily used Honey Stinger waffles. By the end of the week they tasted "too sweet" and it was a little rough getting them down. For electrolytes I was putting Nuun in my handheld, taking Endurolytes (by Hammer) and using BASE electrolyte salt. I'm a firm believer that BASE saved me on my last day when I was so hot and feeling pretty dizzy and sick - a few licks of that and I for real felt like a new person. As for hydration, I was back to using my Nathan hydration vest that holds a 70 ounce bladder. I was also using my Orange Mud handheld which holds 21 ounces.

Other Supplies

We had mandatory supplies that had to be carried at all times, and we were subject to random checks to ensure we had them on us. Among the supplies were 1000 calories, a safety blanket, whistle, compass, knife, salt tabs, emergency strobe, emergency mirror, disinfectant spray and at least 80 ounces of water upon leaving each aid station. Carrying all these supplies was definitely tough with the pack I had and it was a bit uncomfortable to carry, especially when the bladder was full.

Course and Trail Markings

The course was NOT marked by the race director. Each evening we were prepped with special instructions regarding any hard to follow turns and given a map of the course. The issue is that the Kokopelli trail IS marked... but the markings are very old, some of them are not clear at all, and there are no "confidence" markers of every kind. We also were told we could purchase a Gaia app that had an interactive GPS map that we could use. The two people that had this app were the only ones (I think) that made no wrong turns. After the first day I contemplated purchasing but didn't have the internet connection (or my debit card) to buy. Using the printed out map was not ideal but it did give a pretty good idea of where to go. We had an "expedition journal" with a handful of instructions, but these were problematic as they didn't seem to match up to the miles on my Garmin. It was good as a "suggestion" and warning to look for certain sections.

Everything Else

This was not for the faint of heart. In addition to the heat and the remoteness of the course, this experience required some "out of my comfort zone" situations. No running water, showering, shaving, etc. for a week. And being in such close quarters with strangers meant a lack of privacy and learning to get along and deal with uncomfortable situations. With THAT said, I had the pleasure of running with some of the most amazing people EVER, and I would not have traded this group for anyone else. I don't know that I will ever tackle something like this again, but I am glad I did this.

Desert RATS Stage Race, Day 4 (Race Recap)

Thursday, Day 4

 

In years past the expedition stage was over 50 miles. Apparently this year there was a course change and we were "only" scheduled to run about 43 miles. The day was to start at 7:00, and it was SUNNY. Dewey Bridge was looming on the horizon as the start line.

I had the same goal of running what I could and hope that I wouldn't be too hot and/or tired to make the afternoon cutoffs. There was some climbing right off the bat to the first aid station at just past 5 miles "Top of the World." I know there are some amazing views from there but the viewing area was not directly on the course so I cruised on through.

I could see the trail winding down a valley and snaking around some small hills. I knew by looking at the elevation profile that this day was going to have a ton of climbing. We spent a lot of the day running down a hill only to climb back up minutes later.

I stopped to take a selfie in a shaded section - and I'm glad I did. It was only going to get hotter as the day progressed.

There were some nice sections that were runnable and then there were fairly steep sections with a LOT of loose rocks. These sections were the worst for me. Every single step I took I could feel like rocks jabbing into the blisters on the bottom of my feet.

I encountered some weird rock sections that were almost like slick rock but not quite as hard of a surface. The "wavy" rocks were a bit tougher to run on as it wasn't level. The heat out on this section was horrendous. I was trying to conserve water as the Onion Creek aid station was about 13 miles after the first aid station. This was by far the most remote part of the course.

 

 

I'm not sure why I didn't take any pictures of the "Rose Garden." It's a funny name for a section of the course that is a steep downhill filled with rocks and boulders. The bike sweep said he wasn't even crazy enough to try riding down it.

 

I saw a piece of paper at the top that said something to the effect of "Desert RATS water drop top of mesa." I looked around and didn't see the water. Did that mean I was too "fast" and had missed it??? I WAS SO HOT AND THIRSTY. I looked over the Rose Garden and saw Gene hiking up a hill across the valley. OF COURSE WE WERE GOING TO ALMOST DIE GOING DOWN THIS HILL ONLY TO CLIMB UP ANOTHER ONE...

 

So I start climbing. And I'm thirsty. So thirsty. And so hot. I keep checking my watch to see how much further I had to go to the aid station at Onion Creek. FINALLY, once the trail leveled out to more of a runnable "road" I saw the water drop (about mile 17) and I almost cried tears of joy. It's crazy, I have never spent so much time thinking about water and worrying that I was going to have enough.

 

I spent a decent amount of time at the aid station, which was at mile 18 of the course. The tape on my blisters had started to come off and was balled up under my toes. Traci had DNS'd for the day and was hanging out at the aid station and offered me blister powder. Not sure if it helped or not but it was great to get the sand out of my shoes and the tape off.

 

I grabbed the sandwich I had made and started walking for the next section, which again, had a VERY long distance until the next aid station around mile 30.

 

There was more climbing (of course).

 

This section also had a lot of weird bees/flies that came up out of the ground out of what looked like anthills. That was terrifying.

 

Around mile 20 I was getting ready to go through a gate at the top of the hill and then I see Reid (the race director) drive by me in his truck. It's a rough trail but apparently he was driving all the way to the aid station. I was surprised that this was accessible by vehicle and why the race was not able to place a water drop if people could drive on it.

 

I would find out a mile or so later when I came across Reid by his truck, stuck. He was digging himself out by moving rocks around.

 

It was HOURS before he drove past me, I was probably closer to mile 25 and was finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It was so hot I was stopping every quarter of a mile to take sips of water out of my pack in the teeny tiny bits of shade. The views from the top of the mesa were pretty cool though.

 

 

A group of ATV'ers came cruising by, kicking up dust and dirt. I would encounter them shortly, around mile 27, as they were trying to dig Reid out - he had gotten stuck AGAIN. I ended up on a better road and finally could see the aid station (but not after seeing a cow and her calf on the side of the road. While I was hallucinating and trying to focus I thought it was a big bear and a little bear with a laser pointer. Don't ask).

 

It did not come as a suprise to me that even with my rationing of water that I was COMPLETELY out of water when I filled my pack. I sat at that aid station for a LONG time. At least 15 minutes. I was starting to feel sick and I was cramping. I drank like 4 cups of coke and ate a handful of grapes before heading out. I knew I had made the cutoff but I just wanted to finish as soon as possible. I took 2 salt tabs and a few licks of Base salt and actually felt pretty good when I got about halfway through the long climb to the Beaver Mesa aid station. Crossed a waterfall and thought I actually SAW a beaver, but turns out it was a marmot. We were finally gaining the elevation and there were actual TREES. And SHADE.

 

And in the distance, sections of the La Sal mountains - with SNOW on the peaks.

The last aid station was at mile 34. I did not stay long. I was told that there was just the climb up the road and then the road would become paved and there would be about 6 miles of downhill. What I was NOT told was that the hill was about 2 miles long. I was met with some UNBELIEVABLE views when I got to the top of that climb. I had seen a doe run across the road, a gorgeous section of aspen trees and this view of the valley (can you believe I had been way down there at the start?)

Pretty much as soon as the road turned to pavement and I was able to run the sun began to set. What a lovely sight to see. The temperatures finally cooled down and I was shocked to find that I really COULD run a decent section of this.

I was required to have my glow sticks out a half mile before sunset and had been holding my flashlight and headlamp since leaving the last aid station although I really didn't have to turn it on until I was maybe a mile from camp. They had put up strings of Christmas lights and I could see it from about a half mile away. I was SO INCREDIBLY HAPPY to have this leg out of the way. I cruised in about 40 minutes sooner than I had hoped and was greated with cowbells and cheering from the whole crew and my running friends. What a cool finish line.

Garmin Time - 14:19:41
Garmin Distance - 42.16 miles
Elevation Gain - 7,405 feet
Miles 1-5 - 15:24, 13:58, 17:41, 17:35, 16:00
Miles 6-10 - 18:38, 22:10, 20:16, 21:03, 24:58
Miles 11-15 - 21:34, 17:17, 20:13, 20:52, 26:19
Miles 16-20 - 23:52, 18:53, 18:25, 32:24, 21:21
Miles 21-25 - 18:19, 22:01, 20:55, 23:47, 23:27
Miles 26-30 - 23:17, 24:46, 23:19, 25:49, 25:20
Miles 31-35 - 38:09, 18:56, 17:20, 16:12, 25:50
Miles 36-40 - 20:37, 17:14, 13:14, 14:21, 12:39
Miels 31-42.16 - 11:41, 11:45, 11:03

We all stayed up until the last person came through, which was after midnight.

Desert RATS Stage Race, Day 3 (Race Recap)

Wednesday, Day 3

 

Shortly before starting for the day I was talking with my dad about how awful it was going to be to run in my glasses with no protection from the sun. He loaned me his "clip ons" and to be honest - it was a MIRACLE.

 

Thankfully, it was to be a short day. The first few miles of the course were on paved road. My legs/feet were PISSED. For the first time I was struggling to keep up with the "Three Amigos" (Trish, Sheri and Cindy). I just couldn't do it. It was a gradual uphill of horrible-ness.

 

 

There was a water drop around mile 3 before we turned onto the trail. It still felt REALLY hot and REALLY hard.

 

I caught up with Gene around mile 4 or 5. He is extremely sensitive to the sun and was having a very rough day. In an attempt to cover up he was wearing long pants. Like actual long pants. He was afraid of overheating and overexerting himself so he was walking and taking it easy.

 

I was still hanging back from the Three Amigos and then FINALLY caught up to them briefly around mile 6. We all sort of ran/walked together for maybe a mile. There was a section on the hill where we had to do some climbing and I was in front of them as they stopped to take some pictures. I almost grabbed a snake!! After screaming a minute I kept on and was power hiking up the hill.



 

There was a section down by the river that was a bit difficult to get through with overgrown shrubs. But it was the only section that had "shade." I moved quickly through this area as I was SURE I was going to get attacked by a snake.

 

Another climb out, where the photographer was at the top taking pictures. Then there were a few miles of awfulness.

The trail in the next section was packed down so much it was like running on slick rock. To me, this felt like the hottest day yet. I'm not sure I could have gotten through too many more miles at this temperature. There was NO shade out here.

 

Ran by a ranch (in the middle of nowhere) and saw some cows (that also looked really hot). It was like a glimpse into civilization! I was expecting the course to be about 12 miles, maybe a bit longer, so I was really surprised when I turned a corner at about mile 10.5 and saw the finish area. I was really pleased to have the day be shorter than I expected.

 

Garmin Time - 2:50:19
Garmin Distance - 10.95 miles
Elevation Gain - 758 feet
Mile 1 - 14:07
Mile 2 - 14:47
Mile 3 - 13:00
Mile 4 - 14:48
Mile 5 - 15:59
Mile 6 - 17:32
Mile 7 - 15:04
Mile 8 - 17:28
Mile 9 - 17:46
Mile 10 - 15:37
Mile 10.95 - 14:54

It was amazing to get out of the sun under the tent. However, this section of the course was mosquito central so we had to spray a ton of bug spray. Everyone finished this section under the cutoff.

We headed down to camp at Dewey Bridge where I was able to take off my shoes and assess the damage from my blisters. It was not good. My dad left after lunch so that he could be home before too late.

We had the afternoon free so I spent a lot of the time dozing off in the shade. I also had a 30 minute massage. Yes, this race offers a masseuse for the entirety of the trip. I felt a lot better. During this day the staff also jumps off the bridge into the river. It looked terrifying, especially with how high the river is right now.

We had the staff meeting where the race director said more than once - "you will suffer." He was also keen on saying "this next stage is what this race is all about" and "you will be very remote." Ok. Went to bed early and I think this was the first night in days when I actually slept.