Friday, July 15, 2011

The Lesser Known Speech

I don't have a dream...

This has been a tough week for me. My grandma died on Sunday morning after battling a few long months of illness. I have spent the last few days in Wisconsin saying goodbye. It's never easy.

One thing that struck me during the eulogies given at her service was what a truly amazing woman she was. Not just to me and my family, but to everyone she knew. She didn't just work for a paycheck, she enjoyed what she did and extended her time to volunteer work. My grandma literally worked until the day she was admitted into the hospital back in April, a month before her 93rd birthday.

So here I am, 60 years younger (EXACTLY 60 years younger, we shared a birthday), and I'm doing NOTHING. Obviously I have spent most of my adult life working, but it was a JOB, and nothing I was passionate about. I have done very little volunteer work.

My grandma literally spent her life doing what she loved. I'd like to do the same. The problem I'm having is that I've spent my whole life just "surviving." I don't even feel I have a passion. I don't know WHAT I would do if I could do ANYTHING in the world...

I'm at a crossroads (maybe an early mid-life crisis) and I need to decide how to proceed. (Anyone who knows me, what could YOU see me doing?)

I am also going to pay it forward and FINALLY volunteer for a race. I run SO many and have never volunteered. Signing up to run an aid station at the Boulder 70.3 in August.

RIP Grannie, I'll miss you.


  1. I am so sorry for your loss.

    I do love that you are going to find your passion and pursue it.

  2. So sorry for your loss! Touched to read that your grandma inspired you to pursue your passion, and finding it. You WILL find it. I'm sure! :)

  3. oh, Becka, I am so sorry for your loss. I had a lot of the same feelings when my Grandma died. Good luck finding your passion - I know you will...

  4. I am very sorry for your loss. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

    I, too, am in the same boat as far as finding my passion. My job is just a job and sometimes I feel like I'm going through the motions of life, but I don't know what I truly want to do with my life.

    I'm sure you will discover what your passion is.

    Enjoy your time volunteering. Helping out at races is a lot of fun!

  5. Sorry to hear about your loss. I came across your blog and enjoy running myself and love the idea of 50 marathons in 50 states. I hope you are able to accomplish your goals.


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