Seriously, terrified.
Today I started week 12 of my 18 week ultra marathon training program. Training to run 100 miles. I have reached the stage where I am having my doubts. I am starting to freak out. I remember being afraid for my first marathon. My first 50k. And DEFINITELY for my first 50 miler. But this just seems insane. Can I do it? What if I can't? What if I fail? What if I completely fall apart? What if I get sick? What if I get injured? What if I run xx miles and then get pulled for being to slow and DNF? What if I am too afraid to even start?
I'm sure this is all normal. But the closer the date gets, the more apprehensive I get. I have virtually NO support going into this. While I train alone, I don't know if I can get through 100 miles alone.
How do you approach things that TERRIFY you? I need some inspiration!!
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First of all you are capable of doing this. If I learned anything, it's about how much of a mental game ultras are. But to be a complete realist... the DNF percentages for 100s are high... and if you get pulled or hurt or whatever... there is absolutely no shame in that. Having the courage to stand at the starting line is a HUGE feat. If you make it 50, 60, 70, 80, or 90 miles... that will be amazing. If you finish a full 100, it will be a defining moment... I say, it's worth the risk. If you don't get there because that's not way the day had in store for you, there will be another, and you just might talk me into going for the next one with you.
ReplyDeleteIt's always a matter of perspective. It's perfectly understandable that you have all the fears you do, but when they feel like they are going to overwhelm you, just step back and think to yourself. Think about, in the history of mankind, how many people have even tried to run a 100 mile race? By even showing up and trying you join a group of very elite runners....the rest of us could never even think about such a feat. Finish or not, you tried. In that single race you will have run more than a lot of people run in their ENTIRE lives. Think about it. Finishing slowly, DNF, getting hurt...if any of that happens it pales in comparison to what you have accomplished just by being there.
ReplyDeleteObviously I have done many 100-milers so I have lots to say abo... wait. No. No I don't.
ReplyDeleteJust like you said, you're always scared of the unknown. We all are. And you always end up going out & kicking ass, so it seems like you need just a little tiny kick in the pants to realize that you just need faith in what you can do! You haven't failed yet; you won't fail now. :)
What you're doing is amazing. Of course you'll do it. :)
We now you can do it!
ReplyDeleteNo words of wisdom except that to say your feelings of doubt and freaking out are temporary. You're so ready!
You can do this! Take the support that everyone from this blog has given you and go out there and do what ya gotta do. I know you can do this! BELIEVE!
ReplyDeleteSeems reasonable. Trying new stuff can be scary. But you have put in the work and trained really hard. You never know until you try and you have the courage to try which is a great thing!
ReplyDeleteI don't really have anything new to add - it's all been said here.
ReplyDeleteThink about ALL YOU'VE DONE against all odds in the past couple years. This is the next logical step (ok, well, maybe nont LOGICAL :) ). You have, and will continue to, put in the work to get you to the start. You have the will and the heart to step across that line and into the journey of a lifetime.
I am so EXCITED for you!!
Trust your training. You've been killing it over here!
ReplyDeleteI haven't run 100, but I have run 50 and that experience taught me that you will fall apart many times during the race and you will put yourself back together just as many.
DNF'ing sucks but it isn't the end of the world. It happens to the best of them. I've had a chance to meet a befriend a lot of ultrarunners this past year and most of the people I talked to who have completed multiple 100's have DNF'd more than once. It is part of the game. They just try again!
Lastly, can you find a pacer for the night hours? I think it helps a lot and you might not have to go it alone. If the site has a FB page, post a message. If there is a trail running group in the race area, put out an SOS.
Use the scared-ness as motivation. It's such a daunting task, but that's why you're doing it! Terrifying can be motivating...it's definitely inspirational!
ReplyDeleteseeing your determination in every race-you have got this!
ReplyDeletethe only advice I have to give is that if you decide as it gets closer that your body isn't ready, what about doing a mid race instead- like a 70 or 80 miler?? I literally cannot FATHOM running that far, I still think the 50 miler is amazing. I say listen to what your gut is telling you :)
ReplyDeleteYou have grown so much as a runner, just look back in your training log. Wold you have thought you would run a marathon as a training run? You are an amazing runner and yes, you can do this!!
ReplyDeleteYou can try and risk a DNF or you can not try and settle for a DNS. A little softer way of saying that is, just think of how amazing you'll feel WHEN you finish!
ReplyDeleteI'm flirting w/ a 50K and, although it's not THAT much farther than a marathon, it's still farther than I've ever gone. I'm sure I'll post a similar post once I commit.
I like what "Chicken" said. When I get nervous about a challenge or something I don't think I can handle, I welcome it. We are cheering you on & are awestruck with your perseverance.
ReplyDeleteI volunteered at the Javelina Jundred in 2011 and my biggest piece of advice for you is to find people that can go and support you. As the runners came through base camp, it seemed to help a lot to have their support people waiting there to assist them with whatever they needed. I also heard that you can find pacers at your local college (on the track team). Good luck!! Can't wait to read about your event!
ReplyDeleteI volunteered at the Javelina Jundred in 2011 and my biggest piece of advice for you is to find people that can go and support you. As the runners came through base camp, it seemed to help a lot to have their support people waiting there to assist them with whatever they needed. I also heard that you can find pacers at your local college (on the track team). Good luck!! Can't wait to read about your event!
ReplyDelete