But at what expense?
So obviously, I'm in a bit of a rut/rough patch right now. So what am I really talking about? Well, here is how I see things right now.
- Remember that whole - "50 in 50" goal? Well, obviously, I crushed that goal. Only took 2.5 years!
- All that time I spent on the road was time I was NOT spending with A or my boyfriend.
- All that money I spent on races and travel? NOT being used for "family" things or saving for a rainy day.
- Run all the races in Colorado?
- Pretty much see above. Granted, some time was "saved" by not traveling, but I still wasn't focused on anything other than another notch in my half marathon belt. Another medal to hang on my medal rack.
- Run a 100 miler?
- Well, I might not have succeeded in actually completing that. However, same thing. All that time training was not time I was spending at home.
- Run a marathon on all the continents?
- Another goal not quite completed, and I certainly don't regret any of my travels. However, I probably could have/should have been using some of that money to do some nice "family" trips. However, I didn't.
- Run all the miles all the time.
- See above.
Well, I probably don't really have one, other than I have spent a lot of time "reflecting" on the decisions I have made in the past. I let running control my life. I have spent hours and hours every week planning my training, plotting my next race, figuring out the next "awesome" experience I can have.
It's got to stop. "Luckily" I'm in a financial rut that really isn't allowing me to sign up for anything anyway. But I need to get over my "race envy." I need to get over the "feeling left out" if I am unable to participate in something.
I have met someone AMAZING people through running. But the bottom line is, while I cherish the relationships I have built as a result of my running and racing, it has made my CONCRETE life suffer. You know, REAL life, and I seem to have forgotten what that is all about.
Too little, too late for a lot of changes to really "matter," but I have to step back from this lovely "virtual" world I have built up.
I'm not saying goodbye to the blog, a post here and there, but in general, I'm taking a break. If you are a Twitter/Facebook friend, then you already might be aware that I'm taking a break from that as well.
PS - I'm still about $200 away from my fundraising goal for Dumbo, there is a link on my sidebar, I'd really love a donation if you have a few bucks to spare.